Superior
by sagapaga
Summary: AU. Zim hissed at the handmade bird that had landed close to his nest. TOO close to his nest! How DARE these creatures put their feet on HIS planet!
1. prologue

**This is my first Invader Zim fanfic and I'm SUPER EXCITED! I got the idea while I was on vacation with my family and felt that 'omg this needs to happen!'**

**This is an AU where the Irken race is still without their PAKs and live a pretty primitive life, while the Human race is working on making colonies on other planet and has made a treatie with the Vortians. **

**Well, here you go:**

**Prologue:**

_Year 2023, June 22nd, Saturday, Planet earth, Space Station Little Earth_

"Oh my god, I can't believe we're going into space! Can you believe it, Gaz?" a very excited boy in his late teens said. An air of wind blew through his black hair.

"Eeyup", answered Gaz with little enthusiasm. While Dib's head turned from side to side to take in every aspect of Space Station Little Earth, Gaz's eyes were locked onto her GameSlave5.

"This is awesome! Dad would've been so proud of us!"

"Except he isn't because he's _dead_", Gax muttered.

"Look Gaz! There's our ship!" Dib pointed at a light blue spaceship with the name The Piggie sprayed on it in pink. Dib started to jog towards the ship while Gaz kept walking and looking at her game.

A soldier stood in front of the entrance when Dib arrived.

"Name and rank, young man", she demanded.

"Uh, Dib Membrane, I was requested to join The Piggie Crew as a scientist", Dib said. The soldier nodded.

"The Sergeant Mayor is already on the ship, go on in. Take left and enter the door labeled 'conference room'"

Dib could barely hold his excitement as he entered the ship. The corridors were empty but a few people in his age were already in the conference room, together with an elderly woman with a stern expression and her white hair in a tight knot. The other teenagers sat down on metal chairs while the woman stood in front of them. Behind her was a holographic map over a part of space.

Dib walked in silently and sat down behind the other teenagers. An awkward silence stretched over the little gang. The girl in front of Dib turned around.

"You're that Membrane kid, right", She asked with a smile.

"Yeah, that's right", Dib answered and smiled back. The girl had purple hair and brown eyes.

"Cool, my name's Zita, I'm the nurse around here", Zita grinned," I heard that you were insane."

"Well I'm not! That's just what people say!" Dib defended himself immediately", My name is Dib, and I'm the scientist around here, I guess..."

The doors swooshed open and Gaz entered, still playing her game. She took a seat beside Dib.

"Gaz, this is Zita, She's a nurse! Zita, this is my sister Gaz", Dib said. Gaz glanced at Zita and grunted.

"Nice to meet you, Gaz", Zita muttered, caught off guard by Gaz's coldness.

"You better not bother me", Gaz muttered back. Zita flinched slightly.

"C'mon Gaz, can't you at least _try _being nice", Dib whined.

"Be quiet."

Zita glanced at Dib then turned away. Dib sighed. So much for making a friend.

After a few more minutes of silence and a few more teens entering, the older woman finally spoke up.

"Listen up, young adults! You all know the reason you're here, to form the first team ever to live under a longer period on a foreign planet. You've all been professionally handpicked because no one will ever miss you if you die", she said with a droning voice dripping with venom," My name is Margarete Bitters. You will refer to me as Sergeant Mayor or Ma'am." Bitters pressed a few buttons on a remote and the map zoomed in at one particular planet.

"This is planet Irk. It's a six months travel away from here. Those who survive those month will spend another six months on this planet. Then you will decide wether or not it's a suiting planet to build a human colony on. If it isn't, humanity is doomed, doomed, doomed..."

She kept on droning the word doomed until Dib raised his hand.

"What do you want, big-headed boy?"

"My head's not big", Dib muttered", I was wondering if there are any aliens on the planet?"

"There are no reports of intelligent life forms from the planet. Just big birds and brain-eating bugs the size of an american football", Bitters replied. Some teens gasped. Dib felt slightly disappointed. Bitters pressed another button and the picture changed into a picture of a jungle. The plants were green or pink and there were pink fruit-like things.

"This vegetation covers the whole planet. The air is humid but breathable. The ground is covered with one decimeter mud, or deeper. When we land your first mission is to find a water source. While on the planet you will have to feed from what you can gather from the planet. You will all write reports on what is edible and what is not.

You must all work together to survive. A timetable will be put up in every room where is stands which chores you will be taking. During the travel to Irk you will all be on a diet of Poop Soda and Skool cafeteria food. Any questions?" No one raised their hand. "Good. You will have to download your voice into the computer so it recognizes your voices. After that you will get a quick guide in how to steer the ship. Then you'll go get your bags and we're ready to take off."

**TBC**

**So, what to you think? I's short and not much happens, BUT BUT this is just the prologue, simply meant to present Dib's mission on Irk.**

**How was it? Was it good? Bad? Is the grammar acceptable? Is it too slow? Too fast? Confusing? Please leave a review and say what you think :)**

**/Saga**


	2. Chapter 1

**Fun fact: When I first joined the Invader Zim fandom I thought I'd never write a fanfic for it.**

**Chapter one:**

_Year 2024, January 22nd, Monday, 10:00am, Planet Irk, Unknown destination_

"Suddenly it's gravity again!" Torque Smackey exclaimed and stumbled out of The Piggie. Dib followed the muscular boy, amazed by how well they had managed to land in the jungle.

After Dib came Gaz, Zita and the rest of the crew. Everyone looked around in wonder and the vegetation. He saw practically only two colors, green and pink. Green bushes, trees and vines. Pink flowers, berries and fruits.

"Wow, if all these fruits are eatable, then at least we won't starve," Gretchen said. That was true. Just around the clearing they had landed were enough food for them all for at least three days. If they were eatable.

"Children! Why are you still standing here!? Go look for a water source", Bitters barked at them. After these six months in the same ship as here, nobody dared disobey.

_Year 2024, January 25th, Thursday, 02:00pm, Planet Irk, Unknown destination_

How _dare _it?! Zim hissed at the handmade bird that had landed close to his nest. _Too _close to his nest! Actually in the clearing just a few jumps away. The furless mammals' foreign sounds would never leave him at peace! No, they had to leave. Off course, it would have been easier if Zim moved his nest, but the thought never occurred to him.

The furless mammals had come with the handmade bird and seemed to live in it, only going out to explore the jungle where Zim hid. Quite noisily exploring, Zim added. They took of the lower fruits and berries and caught the smaller insects. Zim followed them from the trees and made sure they stayed away from his nest. When it became dark, they either pulled out flashing sticks or retreated into the handmade bird.

Zim sat on top of the bird and guarded the three mammals that sat outside and seemed like they were sorting through different kinds of berries. He had noticed that all the mammals had some sort of emotional bond to each other. Zim gritted his teeth. He decided that it made these creatures even more vulnerable.

One of the creatures stood up and looked towards Zim. Zim hissed and jumped into the cover of the trees.

"What are you doing, Dib?" Zita asked. Dib realized he had stood up and sat down again.

"I think I heard that alien that's been sneaking around us for these past three days", Dib sighed. He took a few berries and scanned them", I think it's up to something."

"I think you're imagining things. Nobody else has seen this 'alien' you keep talking about", Zita teased. Dib groaned. It was hard to prove anything as he had only caught glimpses of the animal.

"I'm not! It's out there. Watching us!" Dib exclaimed while making dramatic arm movements.

"Sit still and be quiet, Dib", Gaz grunted without looking away from her pile of berries. Dib knew better than to disobey. He calmed down and continued sorting through his berries, but not without pouting stubbornly. No one ever believed him! He was certain some strange alien had been watching them right now!

The door swooshed open and a tall, older woman stepped out.

"You kids! Are you done yet with your hopeless berry-sorting?" Sergeant Mayor Bitters hissed hoarsely at the teens.

"Yes, Ma'am!" Zita saluted and showed Bitters a bucket filled with pinkish berries. The Corporal Mayor sneered.

"Very well. Hand them over to the fools in the kitchen so they can make us all something more or less edible", she said and slithered back inside The Piggie.

"C'mon Dib ... Or you might get eaten by your imaginary alien", Zita teased. She and Gaz were standing in the door opening waiting for Dib.

"Really funny, Zita", Dib rolled his eyes", I think I'm going to take a look around to see if I can capture it."

"Suit yourself", Zita shrugged," though I doubt there is anything out there except for the bugs and those bird-like creatures." The girls walked inside. Dib stood up and spied into the jungle.

"I can't wait to see their expressions when I prove that there is something out there!"

Zim narrowed his eyes. None of the mammals had ever been alone before! This particular creature had a darker communicating sound coming from his mouth than his two companions and instead of purple head fur it was black. It had acknowledged Zim more than a few times.

It went into the forest while still making sounds. Why did he keep communicating when there was no one to hear him? Stupid creature.

The creature bent down to look at something on the ground while communicating with himself. Zim sat down on the branch he was on and leaned forwards to get a better view.

Dib let his hand run over the small footprint in the mud.

"This isn't a human footprint, neither is it from the birds that live here. It only has two toes. It must be the alien! The footprint looks fresh enough, I should follow it!" Dib stood up and jogged in the directions the foot prints lead.

Zim tensed as the creature suddenly started moving. Straight towards _his nest!_

_"Oh no you don't!" _Zim hissed in his own language and jumped after it. With precise coordination, he let go of the branches and jumped towards the creature's head.

Dib yelped as something hit the back of his head. It wasn't hard or heavy, but the force made him stumble and fall. He hit the mud with a splash and the thing that hit him skidded a few steps away.

Zim landed a few steps away from the creature and reached behind himself to his bag and brought up a sharp stone. The creature was lying down so Zim stood up straight to appear taller.

_"Go away", _He snapped.

Dib looked up and found himself face to face with a bug-like creature standing before him. It held a very sharp-looking stone just inches from Dib's face. It made some sounds that didn't sound completely savage. More like a foreign language.

"Uh... Hello there?" Dib managed, followed by a small smile.

Zim raised an antenna at the creature's attempt at communicating. It was clear none of them understood the other. Zim growled and snarled.

_"Go away!" _He said again and jumped forward slighty, pretending to attack.

Dib winced as the bug seemed like he was upset over something. Better get away before it did something.

"It's okay, ssshhhhh", Dib mumbled in an attempt to sound soothing as he slowly stood up and put his hands in front of himself. The alien was small, it stood straight on two legs but barely reached to Dib's waist. "Look, I'm not going to hurt you, it's okay."

Zim lowered his antennae nervously. It was much taller than he first thought! It was probably the tallest creature Zim had encountered!

_"Go away! Now, or suffer!" _Zim charged forward again, lifting his stone.

Seeing the attack, Dib stumbled backwards and turned to run. But as he turned, the caught a glimpse of something behind the bug. It looked suspiciously like a bird's nest, filled with fruits and ... things Dib didn't know what they were.

Zim hunted it until he saw the handmade bird then stopped. He grinned proudly as the creature fled inside. That ought to scare them off for a while! He walked back to his nest and began munching on a fruit.

"Oh shit!" Dib panted as he slid down the wall," that thing had a _weapon! _No matter it was just a sharp stone; it knew how to use it! I have to tell the others!" He got up and ran through The Piggie's corridors. "Computer! Where are everybody?"

"They are in the cafeteria room", the all-time calm and friendly female voice told him. Oh right. Dinner.

Dib slammed the doors to the cafeteria open.

"Guys! The alien that has been watching us just attacked me! I think it's _intelligent_!" He blurted and waved his arm.

"God, Dib! You're all muddy!" Zita exclaimed. Dib looked down and indeed, his dark blue jumpsuit was completely covered in mud.

"Uh, yeah, the alien pushed me down into the mud ... But don't mind that! There's intelligent life out there! This changes everything! We need to-"

"Dib! You're late for dinner! Now sit down and eat while everyone else stares!" Sergeant Mayor Bitters snarled.

"... Yes, Ma'am", Dib muttered, looking down. He took a bowl of soup-like substance and sat down. It had a brownish pink color and didn't look very appealing. Dib took ate slowly while trying to ignore the looks everyone around the table gave him. Judging. Some looked at him like he was crazy. Oh, he was gonna show them! He was going to capture that bug-thing and prove to them that there indeed was intelligent life on this planet! Dib hurried to eat the last of his soup.

"Thanks for the food, but I've got an alien to catch, so see you guys later!" He said and stood up.

"Whoa there, Dib! It's your turn to do the dishes, remember?" Zita said.

"Oh, yeah..." Dig said, a bit disappointed. He slumped slightly.

"That's right! Go get started now, stupid child!" Bitters barked. Dib had no other choice than to obey. He balanced everybody's bowls in his arms and went to th kitchen.

"Argh! There's an _alien _out there and I'm stuck here doing chores! This isn't what I agreed to when I joined The Piggie crew!" Dib complained while cleaning the bowls.

"Be quiet", Gaz muttered.

"I can't believe there are intelligent life forms on this planet! If we build a human colony here, we might get into war with them! This is serious!"

"Your voice is annoying."

"We should try to communicate with it! I wonder if Computer has a translation progr-" Dib was cut off when Gaz pushed his head into the dishwater.

"Shut up Dib", she said and left the kitchen. Dib grumbled and finished the dishes. By then the planet's sun had set and the rest of the crew was asleep.

"I wonder if the alien sleeps at night? If it's asleep, then I could easily catch it right now! I could prove I'm right! And if it's awake ... well, then I could try speaking to it." Dib said to himself. "Computer?"

"Yes, sir?"

"I'm going out. Hand me a flash light!"

"Going outside at night is dangerous and should be avoided at most cases. Do you wish to proceed?"

"Yes! This is important! Both for the Crew's safety and for Science!" Deb said as he reached the doors. A metallic arm came from the ceiling with a flashlight and the doors swooshed open. Dib stepped out.

Zim awoke by the sound of heavy steps closing in. Startled, the looked up, antennae alert for any sounds. A dark figure moved toward his nest. And it was tall! He stuck his tongue out and smelled the same creature from earlier. It dared come back?!

_"You dare awake ZIM?" _Zim snapped and it, hoping it was enough to make it leave.

Dib tensed. He heard it! He directed the flashlight towards the sound and the light reflected two large, magenta eyes.

Zim flinched and ducked as a bright light hit his sensible eyes. The creature had blinded him! He tried to blink away the black spots.

Dib's pulse rose slightly at the sight of it. Without thinking, he grasped a nearby stick and inched closer.

Zim tensed at the sound of the creature moving closer. He crawled backward until he hit the other side of his nest.

_"Go away! Stay away from ZIM!" _He hissed loudly.

"Shhhh, I'm not going to hurt you", Dib whispered softly. He realized he held the stick like a weapon and put it aside. With his free hand held in front of him to show that he was friendly, Dib was finally able to lean over the alien and take a closer look.

Zim wished that the creature would put that horrible glowing stick away. It shone straight at his eyes! A somewhat well-aimed kick threw the wretched thing a few steps away. Victory!

Dib froze when the flashlight suddenly flew away and landed in the mud. He looked back at the alien and found its eyes glowing faintly in the dark. The small form looked like it could be pretty dangerous.

"It's okay, I ... I'm a friend", Dib kept murmuring stuff in a low voice. Maybe it would listen to him then. But then again, it didn't speak English.

Such poor attempts at communicating. Zim could easily dislodge the creature's big head from its body if needed, so he let himself relax. It looked too stupid to try anything, anyway. He yawned.

It worked! Dib couldn't believe it! The alien looked at him with a bored expression. Dib was sure he would have its trust in no time! He squatted down in front of the nest.

"Hi there", he breathed," I'm Dib!" He pointed at himself," D-i-b."

Zim narrowed one eye in thought. He guessed this creature called itself Dib. What a stupid name. Zim wondered if he could imitate the way the Dib-creature spoke. It was worth a try.

"Deeeeeeeeeeeeeb", Zim hissed, then puffed his chest out in pride. That was good for a first try!

Oh wow! It had just actually said his name! That was so cool! Dib nodded excitedly. The alien put a three-fingered hand on its chest.

"Zim", it said.

"Zim? Is that your name?" Dim asked. It merely yawned and settled a bit more in the nest. Dib couldn't see very well in the dark, but his eyes had adjusted enough that he could make out two long antennae on its head that would occasionally rise and fall. It ... Zim's eyes were half lidded, but still locked on Dib. It looked less like a threat now. Still, you never know.

They were both silent for a long while, just looking at each other, Zim slightly bored and Dib very fascinated. As usual, his curiosity caused a million questions to bubble up. What was Zim's gender? Its teeth looked sharp, but the nest was filled with fruit, did it mean it was omnivorous? What did the antennae do? Just how intelligent was it? Zim was half lying, half sitting with its back against the walls of the nest. Its three-fingered hand rested on its belly. It seemed to wear some kind of clothing, but it was too dark to tell the material or even the color.

The fruits in the nest glowed rather radioactively, just like all the other fruits on the planet. Dib hadn't seen this kind before though, and reached towards it. Immediately, Zim's antennae were high alert and it hissed threateningly. Dib paused and looked and it. Its eyes narrowed dangerously.

"Oh, sorry", he said dumbly and retreated. Zim snorted. Did it just roll its eyes? It was impossible to tell as it didn't have any pupils, but Dib could have sworn-

Also standing in a crouched position for so long had caused Dib to lose the feeling in his legs. A sign that it was time to go to bed, though he really wanted to stay.

"Hey, I'll be back tomorrow, Zim", he said and stood slowly. A sticking sensation in his legs started to make itself known. Zim merely snorted again and watched him leave.

When the Dib-creature was gone, Zim reached for the flashing stick it had left. He held it in one hand and waved the other in front on the light. Nothing happened. Enh. What a useless creation!

He didn't doubt that the Dib would come back another time, but until then, he better get some more rest.

TBC

**OKAY DID YOU ENJOY CHAPTER ONE?**

**Skool starts tomorrow but I'm gonna try to update every Sunday anyway.**

**Please leave a review! It would mean the world to me!**

**/Saga**


	3. Chapter 2

**Hello fellow Humans! I'm really proud to present to you: the second chapter! **

**Now, for the Guest who wondered if Zim is like an animal:**

**Zim lives pretty much just like an animal, but he is much smarter than one, as he thinks and can use tools. He's more like a primitive human, living without any technology. If his race would get a few thousand years to evolve, they would probably live a more 'human' life.**

**I ... hope that made sense. Tell me if you're still confused. o_o**

**And thanks to Robert for pointing out that Zim seems a bit ooc. I'll keep that in mind in the future!**

**Chapter two:**

_Year 2024, January 23rd, Tuesday, 07:00am, Planet Irk, Aboard The Piggie_

"... And then, it said my name!" Dib said with his mouth full of porridge.

"Uh-huh", Zita mumbled sleepily. It was too early for Dib's fantasies!

"Its name is Zim! It put its hand on its chest and said 'Zim', just like I had!"

"Be quiet", Gaz muttered. Dib shoved a spoonful of porridge into his mouth and actually silenced for a while. Everyone sighed gratefully.

Sergeant Mayor Bitters walked into the cafeteria.

"Children! Today is the day when the Humans will sign the peace treaty with the Vortians. You are all expected in the conference room at nine to watch the great event!" she said hoarsely, the slithered out again.

"Cool! News from home!" Dib exclaimed and ate the last of his porridge. He then hurried away to take a shower, seeing how he was still dirty from falling in the mud.

"Damn Dib and his happy morning mood", Torque groaned while rubbing his face. Everyone agreed. The only one who was happier in the morning was Keef, but he was always happy.

About an hour later The Piggie Crew were sitting in the conference room, expectantly watching as the President man from Earth signed the space treatie with the Vortian Queen. A fanfare of applauds and victory screams broke out from the loudspeakers, and soon enough the Crew members were all laughing and applauding too.

Mankind's first peace treatie with an alien race! Today, the Humans at Earth would be celebrating, this might save the Human race, after all! But, for The Piggie crew, everyone would soon be back to their normal schedule. But, right now, everyone were having a small celebration.

Dib grinned, and high-fived Zita. He patted Gaz on the back and lifted Gretchen high in the air. Keef gave him a big hug (that Dib hoped was just a friendly gesture, but you would never know with Keef), and Torque brofisted with him. Even Bitters seemed to stretch a bit with pride.

All in all, Dib did, for once, feel loved.

"Okay, children! Fun time's over, get back to your respective duties! Today Torque, Zita and Keef are going to look for edible roots in the dirt" Bitters interrupted after a while and everything went back to normal, except everyone were in a slightly better mood.

After the meeting with the Dib, Zim had decided the creatures weren't a threat, just loud and annoying. The Dib-creature could have captured him, but it had only looked at him. Pretty stupid indeed.

Zim still kept an eye on them as three of them dug around in the dirt and picked up roots, though. The Dib-creature was not among them today, but Zim didn't mind. Actually, he had noticed that it was much quieter without that particular creature around. Although the red-headed creature was quite loud too.

Then, speak of the _imníaur,_ the Dib-thing came walking out of the handmade bird!

"How's it going guys?" Dib asked as he walked towards the lake, carrying to large buckets.

"This is pretty darn exhausting", Zita sighed, kneeling in the mud. It looked pretty hard to dig up roots and scan them to see if they were edible. For once Dib was thankful it was his turn to cook food.

"Yeah, but we've found a lot of edible roots, so it's going to be so much worth it!" Keef said.

"Keef's right! I'm so tired of fruits and berries", Zita said. She scanned something that looked like a carrot and threw it in a bucket of water. Oh right, buckets of water!

"I'm going to the lake to get some water, see you guys later!" Dib said and walked off.

Whistling happily, he walked through the jungle towards the lake. He stopped slightly at the turn that led to Zim's nest. Was Zim there right now? The small path that led there was created mostly by Dib, and was probably unnoticeable if you weren't looking for it.

Nah, Zim was probably watching him, like it had done ever since they arrived. It didn't seem necessary to look more at the nest itself. It had been just like a nest by vines and thin branches. Dib shook his head and continued.

Zim raised an antenna and followed the Dib-thing. The water hole, huh. How very interesting. It filled two ... _things ..._ with water, then bent down to splash some in his face.

Oh, Irk's water was the nicest thing ever. A few years ago, all water on earth had become nearly too polluted to drink. Many Humans had gotten ill and the population had dropped by millions. Only richer people survived, Dib and Gaz were lucky their father were Professor Membrane. But, the water on Irk was clear and sparkling and felt _so good _to drink.

A rustling sound made the boy jump in surprise, and suddenly Zim was standing beside him, studying one water-filled bucket curiously. Dib let out a breath and put a hand to his heart.

"Geez, Zim, you scared me", he sighed. The alien blinked at him, then turned back to the bucket.

This creation was genius! It allowed the Dib to carry water to the handmade bird! If Zim could keep just one of these, he could use it to keep water closer to his nest! He attempted to lift the thing, but found it was _very _heavy and ended up falling backwards and spilling the water over himself.

Dib couldn't help but chuckle as the bucket fell and spilled its contents on the little alien. Ok, so Zim was actually pretty cute. Now when Dib finally could see him in daylight, he saw that Zim's clothing consisted of a big, pink leaf with a hole in it, where Zim's head poked out. It looked pretty much like a big poncho. Two thin vines were strapped around Zim's shoulders and attached to what looked a lot like a backpack made of woven grass. That was probably were he kept that sharp stone from yesterday.

"Wow, did you make that backpack?" Dib asked. Zim tilted his head and raised an antenna. Oh yeah. It was hard to remember that they didn't speak the same language when Zim seemed to think just like Dib himself.

Zim stood up and attempted to brush away some of the water. He kicked the bucket just show his spite, and were pleasantly surprised to see that it wasn't as heavy anymore. He picked it up and held it high above his head.

_"Foolish _Dib-_thing! I now possess your water-carrier!" _He grinned, then sprinted off into the forest.

"Wha- hey!" Dib exclaimed and followed, his bigger body getting stuck in vines and leaves. "Gimme that back, you thief!" He only got a glimpse of the fleeing form now and then in the thick jungle, but oh no, he wasn't letting that thief get away!

Dib slowed down and looked around. Great, Zim was gone! Now what? He'd totally hear from Bitters about how he had managed to lose the bucket.

"Zim! Get back here! I need that!" Dib called. He thought he heard the alien snicker at him, but that might as well be his mind playing tricks. Nothing else answered him, and thus he hung his head and dragged himself back to the lake.

_"Victory! Victory for ZIM!" _ Zim exclaimed as the Dib-creature headed back, his big head lowered in defeat. HA! Pathetic creature! Zim sat down on the branch he had hidden behind and studied the bucket. Yes, this would surely become useful. The fact that he had angered the Dib made it all the more exciting.

Zim sneaked back to the Dib just to see it mutter to itself and stomp back to the handmade bird with the other bucket. Zim followed silently from the branches. When they arrived, Zim left the Dib and went to his nest with his little trophy tucked under one arm.

_Year 2024, January 23rd, Tuesday, 01:00pm, Planet Irk, Aboard The Piggie_

"Dib! For your incompetence you will be spending tomorrow cleaning the kitchen area!" Sergeant Mayor Bitters snarled at the boy. Dib ran a hand through his messy and sighed.

"But I didn't lose the bucket! _Zim _stole it from me! He probably has it in his nest by now! If you would just let me show you-"

"No! You're under house arrest for three days, and will spend the time doing research as the scientist I hired you as! Understood?" Bitters said without leaving any place for arguments. Dib sighed and hung his head.

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good! you're dismissed", She said and looked down at her holographic paperwork. Dib slumped and walked out of the office. Gaz was waiting for him outside and glared and him.

"Idiot", she muttered.

"It wasn't my fault! Zim stole that darn bucket from me!" Dib threw his hands in the air. Gaz grunted.

"Whatever. Make us food", she muttered with a demanding tone. Oh right. Dib had forgotten about that.

"Just great! I haven't even had time to think of what to cook! Not that there are that many alternatives. We only have fruits and now those roots!" Dib exclaimed.

"I want pizza", Gaz said. Dib looked at her incredulously.

"Are you serious? We don't have half of the ingredients! Our inventory of flour are running dry! And what are we going put on the pizza? We still haven't found any eatable mushrooms and no animals have gotten caught in our traps!" Dib said. Gaz glared at him again.

"I know you can't make a pizza, I just said I wanted one."

"Oh."

Dib slumped and dragged himself to the kitchen. Gaz sat on the kitchen island and brought up her GameSlave5. On the island stood two buckets filled with various kinds of roots. A little post-it note was tuck on them with the word 'edible' sloppily written on it.

"If I put a few roots in the oven, and make a soup-"

"No more soup", Gaz grunted.

"You're right; we've eaten a lot of soup since we came here", Dib agreed. He put one hand on his hip and the other on his chin," Maybe I could mush the roots into some sort of mashed potatoes..."

An hour later, the Piggie Crew got served grilled roots with fresh berries. Seriously, they needed to catch some meat or else they'd all suffer from scurvy soon. Still, the roots were a welcomed change after three days of fruits.

"I heard you got grounded", Zita said with a mouthful of food.

"Yeah", Dib sighed," Zim stole a bucket and now _I _have to face the consequences!"

"Y'know, this 'Zim' you keep talking about", Zita said," only exists in your big head." She smiled teasingly. Dib groaned.

"If I wasn't grounded, I'd show you his nest right now!" Dib said.

"Yeah, sure", Zita shrugged and finished her meal. She left the table, leaving Dib to his own thoughts. Most of them were directed towards Zim.

Meanwhile, said alien had just filled the bucket with fruits and balanced it on his head. The Dib-creature was tall enough to carry the bucket with the handle, but Zim found that when he imitated it, the bucket would touch the ground.

Balancing the bucket meant Zim couldn't climb. If he met a Taller Irken, he'd have no chance. His antennae were high on alert for any sound, but only the silent crickets from smaller insects could be heard.

Zim put it down beside his nest. Perfect! Now his food supply wouldn't be in the way when he slept, and he wouldn't have to search for food every other day. Zim took a pink fruit and flopped down in hes nest lazily.

Zim had already figured out how the flashing light worked. The was a circle on it, and when he pressed it, the light went off. When he pressed the area again, the light turned on. Zim estimated that the sole purpose of it was to blind the enemy. It would surely come in handy.

The Dib surely had a few useful devices. Zim pondered on this for a while, and decided to find out more about the creatures, before he made them leave. The Dib would come back soon enough. It seemed eager to communicate with Zim, and Zim guessed it could be useful to know their language. He grinned to himself.

TBC

**I'm not really happy with the ending. Oh well :/**

**Also, about that 'speak of the imníaur' thing. It's like 'speak of the devil', except Zim doesn't know who the devil is. Imníaur is a creature I created once when I was bored.**

**What do you think? If you find something confusing, weird, misspelled or boring, just tell me and I'll remember that in the future! **

**Love Y'all!**

**/Saga**


	4. Chapter 3

**Pffffff, so this chapter is pretty short, sorry. I've been busy mountain hiking with my class.**

**I hope this chap answers a few of your questions.**

**Guest: Yes, I love the idea of Zim on four legs! Spoiler: That's definitely gonna happen... :)**

**Robert: Glad you like it :D No, Dib is the only one knowing about Zim ... Yet ... ;)**

**Grilled cheese: Thanks, and stay tuned!**

**Chapter three:**

_Year 2024, January 25th, Thursday, 03:00pm, Planet Irk, Aboard The Piggie_

Okay, so sitting inside doing experiments wasn't usually what Dib preferred to do. He'd rather be outside and study his subjects in their natural habitat. Experiments and calculations wasn't his style. And it was usually boring.

But, Dib realized that since Earth's treatie with the Vortians gave him access to a lot of Vortian knowledge. Dib was putting his house arrest to use by reading through their files.

"Let's see ... Computer? Planet Vort is pretty close by, right?" He asked.

"Affirmative."

"So, then they know about Irk, right?" Dib leaned forward in his chair, staring intensely at the screen

"Affirmative."

"Cool! Do they have any records about Irk?"

"Affirmative."

"Can you download those records for me to read?"

"Downloading data ... "

Dib fell back in the soft chair with a thud. a little time-glass showed him that it would take a while to download. Well, it was probably a lot to data to take in. After just a minute, the teen was idly tapping the armrest.

"Why is it taking so long ... " he asked no one in particular. Nnnnngh, doing research was so boring, but it would be worth it if he found out more about Zim. Another three minutes passed and Dib threw his arms in the air.

"I'll just do something else while it downloads!" He exclaimed and stood up abruptly. The chair would've fallen back if it wasn't attached to the floor. Dib crossed the lab and sat down on another chair, looking at his experiments. They were tests on plants and food from Irk. Most of them worked just like the ones from Earth. Pretty unexciting. Dib sighed and left the Lab area. The corridors were just as unexciting as his experiments.

The teen knocked on the door to Zita's office. Maybe she was there.

"I don't care about your alien, Dib!" Zita's voice said through the door. How did she even know it was him?

"Come on! I just wanted to talk!" Dib groaned. Zita sighed and a click could be heard. The doors swooshed open. Dib walked into Zita's office. The room contained a desk and two chairs and some basic medical tools. Zita sat by the desk, with a bunch of paperwork in front of her.

"What are you doing?" Dib asked and sat down in front of Zita.

"I'm making a report of our diet for these past days", Zita explained. Dub huffed.

"Sounds pretty boring."

"Yup. But someone has to do it. And since I'm the nurse around here, it's my responsibility to make sure everyone gets all the nutrients they need", Zita said, her eyes shining with determination.

"Wow, that's cool. That you take your work so seriously, I mean", Dib said. Now he felt kind of stupid. He had tagged along just to see space and maybe some aliens, while Zita was here acting so grown up even though she wasn't any older than him. Dib drew a hand through his messy hair, suddenly very self-conscious.

"Thanks, I guess. We'll have to look harder for other kinds of food though, or the Crew will be at risk of illnesses caused by lack of important nutrients", Zita sighed.

"That sounds bad", Dib said. They couldn't risk getting ill," what kind of food do we need?"

"Everything we can find. Mushrooms, eggs, meat, nuts, beans, vegetables ... anything to get an as varied diet as possible," Zita answered him, biting the inside of her chin in thought.

"That doesn't sound too hard. I'm sure everything we need is out there! I could try to ask Zim about what's edible and what's not", Dib said, talking mostly to himself. Zita sighed loudly.

"I still don't think Zim exists", she said," but you're right; it should be easy to find everything we need for a balanced diet. I think we've looked at the wrong places."

"What do you mean?" Now Dib was curious. The same vegetation covered the entire planet; there weren't many places to search at.

"I think we have to look higher. This planet's only animals are birds and bugs, and both can fly-"

"Zim can't fly! But I do think he's some kind of bug, though." Dib interrupted.

"As I was saying, since all species here can fly, wouldn't it make sense that most of the food was above us? We've barely seen any birds on the ground. I've played with the thought that there's another echo system up in the tree tops", Zita said, making small hand movements as she spoke. Dib stared at her.

"You believe in _that _but not the possibility that there's an intelligent life form out there?!" He asked. Zita shrugged.

"I'm not the scientist here, you are. I just thought it was possible", she said casually. Dib shook his head.

"Zim has pretty sharp-looking teeth. My theory is that he's omnivorous and probably hunts the birds. We've parked in the middle of his territory; birds probably keep away from here because of him", Dib explained. Zita gave him a 'yeah that makes sense except Zim doesn't exist'-look.

"I guess it's possible that the birds stay away because we landed here. We probably scared them away", she reasoned. Dib sighed.

"My data's probably fully downloaded by now. If I find anything about Zim in the Vortian register, you'll have to believe me!" He said. Zita smiled teasingly and nodded.

"Yeah, sure", she said and rolled her brown eyes. Dib got up and left her to her reports.

Yup, the data had downloaded alright. And it was _ a lot. _No wonder it took a long time; everything was here! There were reports on what's edible and what's not. It would've been really useful if it wasn't based on Vortian anatomy.

"Computer! Why did you download _all _of this? I don't need half of it!" Dib called out.

"You did not request any particular data, sir", Computer droned. Dib groaned. Ok, he'd just have to search for the information he needed.

"Computer, are there any reports of Zim?"

"No, sir", Computer said. Oh yeah, there probably weren't any about _Zim _in particular.

"Uh, any reports about intelligent life forms?" he tried.

"Affirmative."

"Show them to me!" Dib exclaimed. A long text showed up on his holographic screen.

_Irkens_

_Irkens are a primitive species living on Planet Irk. From what we know, they are the only intelligent life on the planet, and one of the most violent beings we have ever encountered. Therefore, not much is known about them._

Huh. Yeah, sure, Zim _had_ seemed pretty dangerous in the beginning, but Dib doubted the alien would actually kill him.

... But then again, how big of a threat did Dib pose?

_Irkens have a light green skin color, which blends in with the vegetation on Irk very effectively. The same goes for their eyes, which are usually pink or red. Very few cases of purple eyed Irkens have also been documented. The average length of an Irken varies between 8 - 16 guebs._

"Computer! Translate 8 Vortian guebs to Human inches!" Dib said.

"8 guebs would make around 4 inches, Sir", Computer said. Zim had seemed shorter than that, but he could either still be young, or these reports weren't correct.

Underneath was a picture of Zim, or something looking a lot like Zim, except naked.

_We have yet to know how Irkens breed, as their genitalia seems well hidden and we have never had a proper chance to study this specie.  
_

_Although, we've concluded that an Irken's gender can easily be decided by looking at their antennae. A male's antennae have 90 degree turn at the end, while the female's one curl into a spiral shape. Females also tend to have long eyelashes._

Dib leaned backwards. Zim had straight antennae, right? So it was a male. The teen felt a bit more comfortable to know Zim's gender. Under the text was a zoomed-in picture of both a male's and a female's antennae. This whole report seemed like it was filled with pictures. Well, that was awesome!

_Judging from what we know, most Irkens live by their own or in smaller groups. A group consists of two or more Irkens, where one is the leader. Gender does not seem like the important thing in the leader of a group, but rather the length. Any tall Irken could be the leader. _

_Overall, only taller Irkens create groups. Shorter Irkens seem to have a harder life. There has been many reports of cannibalism where a group of Irkens will kill and eat a shorter one. _

Dib blinked slowly. He read the last part again. Cannibalism...? That was ... gross and also sort of creepy. Zim was short. Was he in any danger right now? Well, he _had _seemed pretty capable, but what if he actually got freaking _eaten_ by his own kind!?

... He was probably fine. The little alien had probably survived for a long time before The Piggie landed here.

Dib continued reading, getting more interested the more he got to know. These Irkens sure were complex beings! It was impossible not to get fascinated, and this wasn't even everything there was to know! Multiple times, the author would make educated guesses, or discuss different theories of how the Irkens survived. Apparently, it was early impossible to get close to the aggressive specie. Dib thought about this, and wondered why Zim had been so unafraid for him. Well, unafraid was the wrong word. More like, why wasn't Dib dead yet?

Suddenly, the doors swished open, making Dib jump out of his reading.

"Food time, Dib", Gaz muttered. Dib blinked. Already? He'd completely lost track of time.

"Coming, and you will never guess what I found!" Dib said and stood up, stretching away the stiffness from sitting.

"Was it proof that Zim existed?" Gaz said, not really caring.

"Exactly! Some Vortians have studied Zim's species, called Irkens by the way, but had to stop since it was too dangerous! It's really interesting, did you know that Zim can see perfectly fine in the dark? And even if he couldn't, he can get still sorta see his surroundings using his antennae! Well, that's not scientifically proved, since nobody has ever managed to dissect one, but it sounds amazing doesn't it?" Dib ranted. Gaz blocked his voice out, an art she had mastered when she was nine.

The food consisted of something that looked like reddish pink potatoes and a sauce. Actually, the sauce was pretty good!

"Hey, what's in this?" Dib asked with his mouth full.

"A vegetable we found today, It grows on smaller trees on the other side of the lake", the letter M said. Din's heart dropped when he realized they had started to explore the other side of the lake without him. Damned house arrest.

"Well, it's good", Dib muttered. The letter M smiled.

"It works really well as a spice! We're going to dry some and use for seasoning", he said. Dib nodded awkwardly, trying to look interested. M was so passionate about food, and Dib really didn't have a reason to get on his bad side.

The rest of the meal was quiet, and as soon as Dib had finished, he hurried back to his lab to finish reading.

Three hours later, all lights in The Piggie were out, except for Dib's holographic screen. Everyone were supposed to sleep. Dib's eyes were starting to twitch annoyingly, but the teen still had his eyes glued on the texts.

"Sir?" Computer asked calmly.

"What is it?" Dib asked and looked up at the roof.

"I suggest you get some sleep. You can put a bookmark where you are in your report", it said. Dib took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes.

"I guess you're right. I lost track of time again", he yawned," put a bookmark where I am and turn off the lights."

"Yes, Sir."

Suddenly, everything was pitch dark. Dib blinked and groaned.

"Turn on the lights again so I can find my way to my room."

"Yes, Sir."

The lights turned on again. Dib got up and dragged himself to bed. He fell into his bed, asleep within minutes.

TBC

**Not much happens here. I hope to put more action in next chapter, though!**

**I don't have much else to say, so 'til next time, fellow humans!**

**/Saga**


	5. Chapter 4

**Hello, fellow Humans! How are you doing? Personally, I'm not really at my best. Caught a cold and spent my week dealing with sore throats and headaches.**

**That's the main reason this chapter is so horribly short. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry and so ashamed that I couldn't get it any longer. I hope you enjoy it anyway.**

**I also think I've forgotten to reply to someone's review. I that's the case, I'm sorry, I love you anyway.**

**Chapter 4:**

_Year 2024, January 25th, Thursday, 04:00, Planet Vort, The royal castle, The official announcement room_

Vort's Queen stood proudly before the thousands of thousands of Vortians that had come to listen to her announcement. And more people were watching; this announcement aired all over both Vort and Earth. A genuine smile played on her lips at the expectant faces of the crowd.

She was loved. Each and every one of her subjects would willingly follow every order she threw at them. Not that she would selfishly take advantage of them, off course, she wasn't that kind of ruler. Rather, she was grateful for their loyalty and wanted to make more places across the Universe to be as good place as Vort was.

"Greetings, Vortian citizens!" she started, gesturing towards the audience," I'm certain you all know of our new treaty with the Human race." The crowd cheered and clapped their hands," you probably also know that this is the beginning of Operation Impending Peace. For every new treaty we make, we make a new friend. In the end of this operation, I hope for a new era of peace to prevail." She stopped to take a breath and let the cheers die down.

"However, we need to work hard for this. Our allies need our help. I have traveled to their planet, and I've seen the poor shape it's in. As it is today, the Humans can barely survive under the circumstances given to them. We must take action!" She didn't mention that the Humans were mostly paying for their own foolish actions.

"The Humans themselves have already started looking for a new place to live. When they signed out treaty, they already had a patrol on planet Irk." A few surprised mumbles spread through the crowd." While I admire their motivation, I worry that they'll get into trouble with the natives, but as nothing has happened yet, and we have more urgent things to take care of, there's nothing I can do about that for the time being.

"Our allies don't have any organized defense against attacking species yet, which is why I have put my most talented scientists to cooperate to create a super-soldier to defend Earth, and if they succeed, this will be the defense we offer to all of our future allies. Now, if scientist Sev En would be so nice to step up here for a while?" Sev En, the 777th Vortian born year 777, entered the stage proudly, while the crowd cheered at him. He stopped and bowed for the Queen.

"Thank you, my Queen! Yes, I'm one of the scientists working on this project, and I must say that it's an honor to stand here today! I assure you, that our research is going forward at a steady pace. Official updates are available every week in both Human and Vortian for everyone to read. Anyone interested will have the rights to keep up to date with our work!" he said. Talking to audiences had never been Sev En's strength, but he thought it hadn't turned out all-too bad! He bowed to the queen again and walked down from the stage.

"Thank you, scientist Sev En", the Queen said," now, about the situation on Earth. Vortian and Human scientists are currently working on improving ..."

The announcement went on, but as to not bore your minds out, let's head over to something else instead.

_Year 2024, January 27th, Saturday, 09:45am, Planet Irk, Aboard the Piggie_

"Wow", Zita breathed as she skimmed though the last article about Irkens," and this creature has watched us this whole time?"

"Yes! Zim lives really nearby! He's the one who stole out bucket! ... And my flashlight", Dib added sheepishly. Gaz glared at him.

"When did he steal your flashlight?" she asked. Dib tensed. Oops, he couldn't tell them he had been outside after bedtime!

"Uh ... don't mind that! I actually think we can communicate with Zim. He's able to make human sounds, all we have to do is teach him!" he grinned.

"Easier said than done", Zita sighed.

"Well, since Dib is so enthusiastic, he will be in charge for communicating and studying the Irken", Sergeant Mayor Bitters said.

"Cool", Dib grinned again. Finally, things were going his way! It took his entire lifetime, but he finally got to study a _real alien!_ "I'll get to that right no-"

"No, you won't. You still have today left of your house arrest! Go get something done!" Bitters snarled. Dib slumped and let out and agonizing groan.

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Good. Tomorrow you'll start with your work on the Irken", Bitters said and left Dib's lab.

"I believe in you, Dib! Sometimes you speak total nonsense, but I'm with you in this! If you ever need anything, just ask me!" Keef said. Dib didn't particularly want Keef's help. Keef was creepy.

"Thank you", he said anyway. Keef gave Dib a bright smile before leaving. A short, awkward silence hung after he had left.

"How will you do it?" Zita asked," I mean, even if it's able to learn English, how will you teach it?"

"I think Zim's a 'he'. And don't worry, I'll figure something out", Dib waved his had dismissively. Zita shrugged.

"Well, good luck, I guess", she said and left the lab. Too late, Dib realized he should have teased her with 'I told you so', but the fun of that had already faded. Well, dammit.

Those thought were quickly gone, though, as the only other being left in the lab leaned forward and glared daggers into him. Gaz's eyes were the same yellowish brown as Dib's, but could be far more threatening.

"If Zim hurts you, I will _rip out his organs and replace them with poisonous snakes,_ then I'll do the same with you", she said. Dib had gotten used to her threats, but couldn't help gulping.

"I'll be careful, Gaz, promise", he assured her. She growled but pulled away.

"You better be", she said and left him alone.

Dib smiled slightly. His little sister wanted to appear unemotional all the time, but he could sense when she worried for him. That was the closest thing to love Gaz would ever show him, and he felt touched by it. After all, Gaz was the only family he had left.

_Year 2024, January 28th, Sunday, 20:12pm, Planet Irk_

Zim hadn't seen the Dib in three days! What could happen inside that handmade bird that was so exciting so the stupid Dib-thing couldn't afford to leave it?! Zim had grown restless, and was now in a pretty bad mood.

If it hadn't been eaten by his comrades, of course. Though, the Dib was taller than most of the creatures, and probably the smartest, too. It wasn't very likely. Zim huffed and crossed his legs. He had purposely been less careful around the creatures, to hint the Dib's comrades that he was there, but he still hadn't been noticed.

This was growing boring. Obviously, the Dib wouldn't come out any time soon, so Zim might as well go inside and get him. He doubted it was a good idea, but the Dib simply took too long!

There was nobody outside at this moment, so Zim approached the handmade bird cautiously. Mimicking the creatures, he stood in front of the opening, but nothing happened.

_"Hey! Zim demands entrance to your nest! Open, as you're supposed to!" _he shouted at the opening, but it remained stubbornly closed. Weird, it had opened by itself every time one of these creatures walked in front of it._"Then don't, you filthy piece of Deugian poop!"_

Angrily, Zim stomped away. Stupid creatures, stupid opening. Why did it have to close, anyway? Did these creatures have to be completely isolated to survive, anyway? Zim could bet that their handmade bird provided perfect shelter even without a closable opening! Conclusion: Dib was stupid and somehow everything was its fault.

Using his claws, Zim easily climbed up a tree. Up here, he felt much more at ease. Especially, now, as he yesterday had picked up the smell of another Irken. He hadn't seen it yet, but it was alone, so probably not someone tall and thus Zim could chase it off if it interfered.

Or maybe Zim should kill it. He hadn't caught any meat for a long time and he was starting to feel a need for the rare delicacy. Not that his body needed any meat to go on; he simply enjoyed the taste, but also the fight his prey would put up. The adrenaline certainly made his need for meat so much greater.

Zim grinned and disappeared into the forest.

TBC

**As I said, sorry for the shortness! Next chapter will be longer, promise :)**

**I spent a bit more time editing than usual, I hope it shows. **

**What do think? Is this taking an interesting turn? Is there anything you think could be better? Please leave your thoughts and questions, they always make me happy!**

**/Saga**


	6. Chapter 5

**I ... Don't remember what I was going to say...**

**...**

**OH YEAH! THANKS FOR ALL OF YOUR AMAZING REVIEWS, FELLOW HUMANS!**

**Fancykitty1123: Glad you do! **

**Guest: hehehe thank you~**

___Year 2024, January 28th, Sunday, 20:39pm, Planet Irk, Somewhere in the Forest_

Zim blinked, surprised to ever see this particular Irken again.

_"Skoodge? Why are you not dead yet?" _he asked. Not that he minded Skoodge being alive. He just thought the moron had gotten eaten a long time ago. Skoodge and Zim had known each other since they were smeets and lived with their mothers.

_"Well, apparently it was easier to survive on my own than with you", _Skoodge said happily. He did like Zim, but truth to be told, since they had departed, Skoodge hadn't found himself in the centre of danger just as often.

_"You LIE! Obviously you're here for my flashing light-thingy! Well YOU CAN'T HAVE IT!" _Zim declared.

_"Wow, you haven't changed at all, Zim", _Skoodge chirped,_" Though I don't know what a flashing light-thingy is, so don't worry about it!"_

_"YOU CAN'T HAVE IT! It belongs to ZIIIM!" _Zim literally screamed in Skoodge's face, leaving his antennae with a painful throb.

_"Actually, I just wanted to check up on you", _Skoodge said shrugging. Zim blinked.

_"Oh. Well, I guess no one can stay away from Zim's charm for long, can they?" _The smaller male grinned, stretching to his entire length, which wasn't very impressive. Skoodge shrugged, but couldn't help smiling slightly. Zim just wouldn't change, would he?

_"It's good to see you", _he said. Zim nodded approvingly. Off course it was, Every one should feel honored to meet him! Though, Zim didn't bother by returning the compliment.

_"Skoodge! You have to see the flashing light-thingy I stole from the hideous creatures!" _ he said instead. Skoodge raised an antenna curiously and followed as Zim jumped from branch to branch.

_"What creatures?"_

_"Those who landed here eight days ago! You haven't noticed? They're filthy!" _Zim said loudly, making sure Skoodge could hear him. Skoodge's antennae shivered in worry. Three spooch-beats around Zim, and he already smelled trouble.

Zim grabbed a vine and gracefully elevated himself to the ground before his nest. Skoodge attempted to do the same but fell in the mud.

_"Behold!"_ Zim shouted. Skoodge looked up and was blinded by an intense light. He cowered for a few steps. _"Amazing, is it not?"_

_"I can't see!" _

_"Silly Skoodge, that's the point! It's used for self-defense against Tallers", _Zim explained, turning off the flashing light-thingy. The slightly bigger Irken looked at the device dubiously.

_"I think it's used to see in the dark", _He suggested.

_"Lies!" _Zim looked offended. Half a spooch-beat later, he seemed to realize something and perked up again. _"You have to see the creatures!" _He took Skoodge's arm and dragged him towards the handmade bird. Skoodge tried his best to keep up with Zim, but ended up falling again. _"Stupid Skoodge! Get up!" _Zim stopped and waited for Skoodge impatiently.

_"You're too fast, Zim", _Skoodge sighed, now covered completely in mud. Zim grinned, looking proud.

_"Yes, I sure am. Now hurry", _this time, Zim didn't run, but simply walked with his head held high. Skoodge got up and followed.

They came to an abrupt stop when Zim pulled them both under a bush.

_"Look!"_

Zim had gotten into all kinds of crazy situations before, from riding an _imníaur_ to falling down a water fall to fighting a bunch of Tallers. But if Skoodge was to make a list with the craziest situations highest, this would be probably get a well-deserved third place.

The creatures were tall and pale, with weird fur on their heads. They truly were hideous. Skoodge lowered his antennae nervously.

_"Ew! Where did those come from?" _Skoodge whispered.

_"Have you not been listening? They landed here a while ago!" _Zim said, probably loud enough to call for their attention.

_"Don't be so loud!"_

_"Pah! These stupid creatures are oblivious to whatever I do", _Zim said and yawned dismissively. Skoodge didn't think anything could be oblivious enough to NOT hear Zim, but none of them acknowledged the two Irkens. How could something so tall be so stupid?

_"Well, better safe than dead, right?" _Skoodge said. Zim looked at him, confused. Oh right, that sentence had never meant anything to him.

_"You speak dookie! Now, there is one of them who is smarter than the rest. As brilliant as I am, the Dib has managed to find Zim's amazing nest! That's why I stole his water-carrier", _Zim said.

_"Water-carrier?" _Skoodge raised an antenna. Zim nodded.

_"Didn't you see it by my nest?"_

_"You had blinded with the flashing light-thingy!"_

_"Oh, right", _Zim suddenly looked really proud of himself. Skoodge shook his head and turned towards the creatures.

_"What is that big pink rock?" _

_"It's their handmade bird! That's their nest, but it's stupid. It wouldn't let Zim in", _Zim said. To Skoodge, that didn't sound stupid, but rather really clever. A nest that didn't let intruders in. Suddenly, he realized what Zim had said.

_"Why would you want to get in there? They'll eat you alive!" _Skoodge gasped. Zim laughed nonchalantly.

_"Off course they won't! I am Zim!" _That didn't make any sense.

The creature got into the handmade bird. Skoodge relaxed visibly and stood up.

_"I'm all muddy. I'll go to the lake and wash myself off," _He said.

_"Lies! Zim will get there first!" _with that, Zim pushed Skoodge are ran to the lake. Skoodge stumbled and landed in the mud for the third time that day.

_"Zim! That's cheating!" _

As Skoodge followed, he felt a wave of happiness hit him. It was a miracle that Zim managed to survive on his own, being both short and reckless, but Skoodge was glad he had. That way, Skoodge had someone o visit when things got dull.

****___Year 2024, January 29th, Monday, 09:03am, Planet Irk_

_"Why do you have to leave?" _Zim asked. Not that he enjoyed to Skoodge's company or anything, but he could at least meet the Dib before he left!

_"I know you rather be on your own, that's how you are, __Zim,__"_ Skoodge replied,"_ And if I stay too long, you'll drag me into something dangerous again."_ Zim squinted an eye at him. Stupid Skoodge, who just showed up and left just as suddenly!

... Not that Zim _wanted _company or anything!

_"Ha! You'll come back to me soon enough! I am simply too amazing to avoid!" _Zim raised his chin, daring Skoodge to go against him. Still, Skoodge just laughed.

_"Sure you are", _he said playfully", _I better get going." _He really was leaving!? Zim's antennae vibrated in annoyance.

_"Fine. Zim will see you around!"_ He crossed his arms and looked away. Skoodge laughed slightly again, then Zim heard how he disappeared into the forest. Walking on ground level. Skoodge was going to get himself eaten if he kept on walking by foot! Zim should have warned him. Oh well. Too late now.

Zim stomped away angrily, certainly _not _regretting letting Skoodge go! That stupid Irken could go do whatever he wanted, for all Zim cared!

Zim went straight to the handmade bird, that was once again unguarded. He stood before the opening.

_"Stupid Dib-thing! Zim demands you to come out! I AM-"_

His rant got cut short when the opening actually opened, and Dib stepped out!

"Freedom!" Dib sighed in relief. It took one step outside before he stumbled over the tiny Irken, falling straight into the dirt.

Zim gasped as he got tackled into the ground. The heavy weight of filthy Dib-creature fell over him, effectively crushing his squeedily-spooch and other fatal organs.

_"Dib-thing! You're crushing my insides! Get your filthy body off Zim!" _he squeaked.

"Zim! Cool, I just about to go find y- ... Oh, I'm sorry", the teen got up and tried his best to brush off the mud. Zim sat up and glared at the boy.

_"Stupid stink-smell", _Zim muttered and stood. Dib had no idea what Zim has said, so he just shrugged it off.

"Hey, Zim. I thought I'd try to teach you English! How do you think about that, huh?" Dib asked. It was Zim's turn to not understand and just shrug it off as unimportant babbling.

_"Zim demands you teach me you language", _Zim said instead. Dib raised an eye brow at the alien, then sighed. Obviously this wouldn't do. He scratched his back in thought, getting mud inside his jumpsuit as an outcome.

Okay, he'd just assume Zim could take a hint when he started teaching. With that in mind, Dib pointed at The Piggie and said, loud and clear:

"Space ship."

Zim's antennae raised in pleasant surprise. The Dib couldn't possibly have understood him! He decided to not dwell on that and put his hand at the handmade bird and tried to imitate Dib's sounds.

"Spaaace sheep", was what came out.

Dib raised an eyebrow. This might be easier than he thought. He nodded eagerly and pointed at a tree close by.

"Tree!"

Zim had a feeling the Dib was happy with the result, because he continued with the act. Zim grinned and ran to the tree the Dib pointed at.

"Treeeeeee!"

A wave of excitement hit Dib and he grinned, following the Irken in a jog. The mud splashed from his steps, which made him bend down and point at it.

"Mud!"

"Mude!"

Dib shrugged - they could work on pronunciation later - and nodded. Happy that Zim could make human sounds, Dib continued to point on things and tell him their names. Zim would make pretty good imitations on the first try. Mostly.

Dib caught sight of one of those big ladybugs a few meters away and pointed at it.

"Bug", he said. Zim looked at it and bent down into a hunting position.

With a leap on all four, Zim suddenly had it in his hands. His tiny hands didn't even reach around the bug, which squirmed around to get free. It tried to open its wings, but Zim's thumbs held them firmly in place.

"Bug!" The Irken grinned up at Dib. Dib took a moment to take in what had just happened. Zim had actually caught that bug without problem! From experience, Dib knew it was practically impossible to catch one. When they just landed, he'd wanted one for experimenting, but he hadn't managed to get one.

"Wow", he breathed.

What happened next wasn't expected either. While Dib thought Zim would let it go, Zim actually dug his claws between its shields and pressed. A crunch could be heard and the ladybug tensed and went limp.

With a triumphant grin, Zim pried it in half and handed one half to Dib. Dib hesitated before taking the dead bug. Zim's part was already half devoured by the petite alien.

"... Ew", Dib managed, but then his stomach growled. Hey,wasn't it dinner time by now? Once again, Dib hadn't kept track on time.

Huh. Was this poisonous for him? Would he fall down in cramps afer one bite? Or maybe it would burn him from the inside out! Suddenly, Dib regretted not bringing a food scanner.

Great, Zim looked at him as if he was offended that Dib hadn't eaten. Warily, Dib licked the green phlegm that sipped through the bug.

... Well, he didn't explode or anything, and the taste wasn't half bad. It tasted foreign, but actually kind of good. For being the inside of a bug. Dib dared take a bite, chewing and swallowing.

An idea hit him. Zita said the crew needed a more varied diet. Couldn't they just eat bugs? No biggie, right? Okay, kinda gross, but better than dying. Dib took another bite, then shoved the rest inside his pocket to analyze later. The fact that his pocket was now filled with green goo didn't occur to him.

"That was good, Zim", he complimented. Off course, Zim didn't understand, but he figured that Zim would learn easier if Dib kept talking. Zim grinned proudly.

Dib pointed a rock and the game of teaching Zim English continued. Zim always moved, climbing up and down trees, running away for brief moments, then returning and always wanting Dib to keep up with him. And Dib did his best. He avoided climbing trees, though.

There wasn't many things to point at though - fruits, trees and mud - so Dib found himself teaching Zim body parts pretty soon. When the day was over, Zim could sing along to 'head and shoulders, knees and toes'.

Dib was the first one to teach an alien how to sing kids' songs! How cool was that?!

When Dib was back inside by dusk, he scanned the, now completely crushed, leftovers of the bug, and got pleasantly informed that he wasn't poisoned. It was eatable, and stuffed with the right nutrients.

"Zita! This is the answer to all of your problems!" he called. The only one who heard was Gaz.

"Everyone's asleep", she murmured.

"They are? Crap, I lost track of time again, didn't I?" Dib groaned. Gaz sat cross-legged on an autopsy table, the light from her GameSlave5 lighting up her features. She grunted.

"I'll go to sleep too, then. It's been a long day, and tomorrow's gonna be just as long", Dib yawned", G'night, Gaz." Gaz shot him a glare but didn't move as Dib got up and left. If they were still on Earth, Dib would've made her go to bed, but this was Irk, and he figured she was to be treated like an adult and not a little sister.

Bed felt like a sanctuary as Dib fell into it, his exhaustion finally sinking in. Zim had been on the move the whole day and since Dib was studying him, he'd had no choice but to follow. There had been a lot of running indeed.

Dib sighed and let sleep take over.

TBC

**I'm not really happy with how this chapter turned out asjfgk**

**Remember, if there's anything you find confusing, or bothers you in any other way, never hesitate to ask me!**

**/Saga**


	7. Chapter 6

**HERE IT IS! I've been waiting for this chapter to happen. It's like when you're running and decide that you'll run past three lamp posts before resting. This is that third lamp post I've been aiming for this whole time.**

**For those who read the author's notes, you now have the chance to MAKE A CHANGE! **

**Here's the deal. Since skool is keeping me busy, I don't have as much time to write anymore. Tell me - PM or in a review - if you'd rather continue with weekly updates, but maybe a bit shorter chapters, or wait longer and get a longer chapter each time. **

**I might make a poll if I remember.**

**Fancykitty1123: Yes. Yes he is X3**

**Chapter 6:**

___Year 2024, January 30, Tuesday, 03:00am, Planet Vort_

"Stupid, stupid experiment", the 777th Vortian born year 777, exclaimed as he washed himself off," it shouldn't be this hard! All we have to do is create the perfect AI! Why are we stuck like this?!" He took a deep breath and relaxed, sinking into his comfy chair. From across the lab, his co-worker sent him a glare.

"Relax, Sev", his co-worker said," there still time before the deadline!"

"I know that", Seven sighed and placed his head on the smooth metal surface of his latest project. As it turned out, they were stuck in their work.

"I think I'm onto something, Sev!" Lard Nar exclaimed, holding up a limp robot for Sev En to see," I call it a Standard Issue Information Retrieval unit, or a SIR!" It was small, probably only reached Sev En to his waist, and white with blue eyes. "Useful for spying and defensive combat! It also works as a thermos!" Sev En eyed it critically.

"Thermos? Who gave you that idea? Spleenk?" Lard Nar visibly flinched. Sev En sighed loudly. "Don't listen to that idiot. That'll get you killed one day."

"Hey! You aren't my Mother!" Lard Nar exclaimed," ... though his ideas _are _pretty stupid." Sev En laughed bitterly.

"So, does your SIR work?" he said, to change the subject. His co-worker sighed in frustration.

"Almost! I'm so close to figuring it out!" He said, brows furrowing under the goggles. Sev En sighed and replaced his head on the dome in front if him.

___Year 2024, January 30, Tuesday, 09:07am, Planet Irk_

Next next day, Zim waited on a branch beside the 'ship' and repeated everything he'd learnt yesterday. The most useful word must've been 'nose', which was the ugly, fleshy thing in the middle of the Dib's face.

Though, Zim wanted to make _sentences! _He wanted to communicate with the Dib to learn the secrets behind the flashy light-thingy! What use did he have of his current vocabulary, anyway? It was just the things from the forest anyway! Nothing useful at all!

His antennae perked up as the ship opened and the Dib stepped out. In his hands was a bunch of various items Zim had never seen before. They seemed pretty hard to balance though. Zim hopped down from the branch and sneaked up on the Dib. A push would probably be enough to make him fall. Zim could either help him or

...

Oooh, the temptation was just to big! Zim grabbed the Dib's foot, effectively making him fall face-first into the mud and all the stuff get spread all over the ground. Zim laughed loudly.

"Ha ha, that's funny", Dib muttered. Crawling around in the mud, he picked up the lost devices, among them a rubik's cube. "I brought some stuff, to check how smart you _really _are!"

___Year 2024, January 30, Tuesday, 03:32pm, Planet Irk_

"Oh my Gosh, he's so cute!" was Zita's first response to Zim. She smiled widely and knelt before him," hello there, cutie! How are you, little one~?" Dib wondered whether he should warn her or not. Zim squinted one eye at her, then, in a swift move, stole her hair band. Zita yelped in surprise.

While Zim held his price high and rambled victoriously in his own language, Dib started laughing at Zita's surprised expression.

"You shouldn't provoke him", Dib said, stifling his laughs.

"Uh, he's still cute", she mumbled," he can keep it, I guess."

****___Year 2024, January 30, Tuesday, 07:00, Planet Irk_

Gaz stared at the alien angrily. Somehow, Zim felt threatened in the creature's presence, and wiggled uncomfortably.

"I hate his guts", the female decided, glancing at Dib before glaring at Zim again. Dib shrugged it off. After all, that was standard coming from his sister.

Gaz bent down so she could glare at Zim with full effect.

"If you hurt Dib, you will face a fate worse than your puny little brain can comprehend", she hissed. Dib didn't bother to tell her that Zim's brain was just as evolved as their. His little exercises had proven just that.

Zim seemed heavily distressed by Gaz's presence. His teeth showed and he hissed lowly.

"Uh, Gaz? You're not making a good first impression", he said carefully. Her hair snapped to the side and she glared at him.

"Whatever", she muttered. The youngest Crew member got up and left, face already turned to her GameSlave5.

___Year 2024, February 6th, Tuesday, 09:00, Planet Irk_

One week later, Zim had stolen three screw-drivers, a spare gear, two sandwiches, a poop soda and four spikes. He'd also learnt his first sentence.

"I am ZIM!" the Irken screamed as soon as Dib left the Piggie.

"I know! Gee", he sighed. Zim danced around him as he carried today's 'game'. It was proven useless to bring smaller stuff, as Zim would just steal them. Therefore, Dib started to bring bigger, heavier things, that Zim either couldn't grasp or lift. Today though, he'd brought a bunch of pipes and a big plate, that were supposed to be fit together to form a table.

"You've got a new kind of task today, Zim", he started," Sergeant Mayor Bitters has decided that we need to be out in the fresh air more, so you're going to help us build some tables. This is what you're going to use", he dumped the bunch on the ground.

___Year 2024, February 8th, Thursday, 01:23pm, Planet Irk_

"Hand Zim the screw-driver!"

Zita tensed at Zim's words. She wasn't going to lie; it was really creepy when he talked. No matter what Dib claimed, the Irken seemed more like an animal than an intelligent being. He only formed easier sentences, but it was enough to give her chills.

"Here you go", she mumbled while reaching for the screw-driver. Zim didn't thank her. Did he even know how to say thanks? Zita sighed and continued helping Zim with the tables.

___Year 2024, February 20th, Tuesday, 08.56am, Planet Irk_

Zim had been around the humans for three weeks. He was quite happy about how much he'd learnt. On the days, the Dib would teach him the language as well as how to create brilliant creations! Zim also took every chance to steal tools as soon as Dib looked away.

This day though, something was off. As soon as Zim woke up at dawn, his tongue caught the smell of two other Irkens. Two. If they were together, then they were Tallers. He tensed, lips drawn into a snarl. He had a reason to defend his nest, as it was now filled with various interesting-looking Human tools and devices.

Maybe they'd leave, though. They might not be any problem at all. Zim stayed close to the nest until the humans awoke, and waited for the Dib to come for him instead of meeting him by the Piggie.

"Hey, Zim, why are you still here?" he (Zim had learnt how to tell their genders a week ago) asked when he arrived, slightly annoyed. He would rather meet Zim in the opening than find his way through the poorly used path where Zim lived. Also, he always got annoyed when he saw all the stuff Zim had taken.

"Something is around", Zim hissed, spying through the trees. Dib blinked; it wasn't always easy to understand what Zim meant.

"Around? Like, somewhere closeby?" He guessed. Zim nodded.

"Yes! Two Tallers!" He exclaimed in triumph," the Dib must be careful!" Dib felt a wave of excitement mixed with worry. One half of him - the scientific part - wanted him to find the Irkens and study them. The other helf - the Human part - worried for everyone's safety. Irkens were dangerous; that's why so little was known about them, after all. He didn't know if they would attack Humans, but he'd rather not take any risks.

"Okay. We'll warn the crew", Dib decided. Zim looked hesitant.

"Zim must guard his nest", he said. Dib sighed. He didn't want the tiny being to be alone if it was dangerous.

"... Why don't we just take your stuff and put it in the Piggie?" everything belonged to them anyway...

"Lies! Zim will stay here and defend his ..." Zim's schreech came to a stop as he tensed and looked to his right, anteannea high on alert. Dread filled Dib as he looked at the same direction, just barely noticing the flash of red eyes in the bushes.

TBC

**Sorry for the short-ness.**

**/Saga**


	8. Chapter 7

**WARNING OF DOOM: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS BLOOD AND BADLY-WRITTEN VIOLENCE! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!**

**Ooops, it's Tuesday today and not Sunday. Oh well. You've all waited so long for this chapter. I'm so sorry -_-;**

**Guest: Believe me, we all love the little bastard _**

**Chapter 6:**

___Year 2024, February 20th, Tuesday, 09:05am, Planet Irk_

"Z-Zim", Dib whispered nervously. His eyes never left the spot where those red eyes had been just seconds before. "What was that?!"

"Silence!" Zim hissed. His tongue slipped in and out like a snake's would do, as if Zim was smelling something. "Follow Zim." Dib would have been happy to oblige, but then Zim jumped into a tree with three agile sprints, and Dib found himself alone.

"Zim! I can't get up there", he hissed, his voice sounding loud in the sudden silence. Some leaves rustled and he jumped. Suddenly the jungle seemed threateningly silent. Zim didn't answer him. "Zim!" Something hissed, it wasn't Zim. Unconsciously, Dib reached for a hammer that Zim had stolen.

Then, everything happened all at once. An Irken - if Dib had stood, it would still be a good foot taller than him - jumped towards him with a shrill shriek. Dib barely got to raise the hammer before a much smaller shape - Zim - appeared from the bushes and hit the Irken from the side.

The two Irkens rolled around in the mud, both trying to get the upper hand. Dib got up to help, when they came to a stop with Zim's small shape pressed to the ground by the larger Irken. That made the Human stop. His instincts told him to save his new friend, but the more logical part of him said it was a very bad idea. This was another Irken, possibly - probably - not as friendly as Zim. He'd get killed immediately!

Zim struggled with the weight that held him down. The Taller didn't have any problems holding him down and if he was here, the other one must be close by. That meant trouble. He kept on clawing at the Taller with one hand and reached back to his bag with the other. It was hard to reach in his current situation, but if he could just-

Meanwhile, Dib suddenly found himself startled by another shriek, this time from behind him. He didn't spin around in time to avoid the other Irken as he threw himself at Dib.

"Holy-" Dib yelped as he stumbled and fell into the mud. The Irken landed on top of him as grabbed his upper arms in his sharp claws. Somehow, Dib managed to kick off he alien. As the Irken fell, he brought the hammer - still held tightly in his hand - forward hitting the alien's head, causing pinkish blood to splatter on the mud-covered ground. The Irken shrieked in agony and cowered.

The Irken holding Zim down looked up as his companion shrieked. That distraction was all Zim needed. Taking advantage of the slightly loosened grip, he finally got a hold of his knife and stabbed it in the other's shoulder. Yet another howl filled the air, and Zim drew the knife out together with a rain of blood.

Though, the small Irken had no time to stop the next blow, as he got slapped hard enough to get thrown into a nearby tree. There he crumpled, while trying to get te colorful dots to leave his vision.

Dib had seen it all, as his attacker didn't seem ready to make another move anytime soon.

"Zim!", he got up to run towards his newest friend, but stopped. The Irken that had gotten attacked by Zim stared at him, blood-red eyes filled with hostility and pink blood dripping from the deep wound in his shoulder. Dib scanned the area. Beside Zim lay the knife dyed with the same fluid that flowed from the Irken's injury.

This was no time for hesitating, but rather for reckless stupidity. With a quick sprint, Dib grabbed the knife and aimed it at the Irken," back off!" In the corner of his eye, the other Irken dragged himself up and to his companion. Dib swallowed. He doubted he could pry them both off.

Apparently though, they weren't worth it anymore, as the simply hissed loudly at his before fleeing into the jungle. With that threat gone, Dib dropped beside Zim.

"Are you okay?" he asked. Zim was sitting now, with both of his tiny, clawed hands covering the back of his head. He didn't look too beaten up, save for some scratches and a three-fingered slap-mark over his cheek.

"Zim is fine", he said soberly. Dib finally relaxed.

"Good." The teen noticed he was shaking slightly, the knife still held in his hands. He dropped it unceremoniously. As the adrenalin wore off, he became aware of a dull pain in his entire body. Especially in his back from the fall and in his upper arms, where sharp claws had punctured the tender skin. His vision was interrupted by cracks in a way that only happened when one's glasses were broken. He sunk down in the mud beside the small being and rested his back against the tree.

They hadn't been like that for long before another rustle among the leaves caught Dib's attention. He was immediately in tensed and alert. Zim though, simply raised an antenna lazily.

"Dib! Zim! Are you alright?" a voice could be heard and Zita appeared from the vegetation. She came to a halt though, as he saw the state the two were in.

"Zita! It's just you", Dib breathed. With some effort, he got up, wincing from the pain it brought up," there are other Irkens around. Everyone should probably stay indoors until they're gone."

"We heard the noise so we came to take a look", Gaz said as she appeared behind Zita," figures you couldn't take care of yourself."

"Hey! I took perfectly good care of myself! I'm still alive, see?" Dib exclaimed and gestured towards himself.

"You both look horrible! Are you okay?" Zita asked. Dib nodded.

"I guess we were lucky", he said.

"Lies! Zim needs no luck!" Zim protested, having stood up proudly. Dib was pretty sure they were just lucky.

"Anyway", he muttered," we should all go inside for now. Are you coming, Zim?"

"Zim will defend his nest," the Irken repeated.

"We can still take your stuff with us ... you can take it back when those Irkens are gone or something", Dib said. He was getting tired, despite it still being morning. Zim shook his head furiously, which Dib had taught him meant 'no'. The teen groaned. "C'mon! I don't want you eaten!" Zim huffed loudly. Though he wouldn't admit it, he couldn't take on two Tallers alone.

"Fine! Zim will come to the Piggy", the extraterrestrial being finally agreed. Dib sighed blissfully while Zim emptied the bucket of food and filled it with stolen stuff.

"Do you want help?" Zita asked. She bent down to aid the alien.

"No", Zim pouted. Zita cringed slightly and backed away.

When Zim had filled the bucket and put the rest in his backpack, they all left Zim's nest and headed for the Piggy. Dib explained to Sergeant Mayor Bitters about their current situation. She agreed in staying indoors for a while and ordered everyone to get their butts inside the Piggy.

"I'm going to get a shower. What do you think, Zim? You could use one as well", Dib said. The dirt had begun drying and was becoming itchy.

Zim had no idea what a shower was.

"Zim needs no show-_urrr!" _he said. Dib rolled his eyes.

"Yes you do. You're covered in mud", Dib sighed.

"Zim does not see how that is relevant."

"Where did you learn that word?" Dib couldn't recall teaching him it.

"YOU LIE!" Zim pointed at him. That made no sense.

"Just come with me", he started towards the showers.

"Do not tell Zim what to do!" Zim said, but followed anyway.

All guys shared a room with five showers in one row and five of the opposite wall, without any curtains separating them. Dib undressed and winced at the sight of the bleeding wounds on his upper arms, then picked a bottle of shampoo and two towels from a nearby locker. Zim hadn't moved since they arrived in the shower.

"Take off your clothes, then pick a shower", Dib instructed, pressing the button to start his own. He sighed in bliss as the mud ran off his body. Zim's eyes widened. Ignoring Dib's instructions, he ran to the one Dib was standing under, and pushed him out-of-the-way.

"It's water! Where is it from?! Tell Ziiim!" he whined.

"Hey! Take your clothes off and pick your own shower! There's like nineteen others to choose between!" Dib exclaimed, then pushed the small being to the left.

Zim then made a big deal of choosing the best shower. He walked past the rows slowly, humming to himself. Dib wondered how Zim could hum, since he didn't have a nose.

Dib took the chance to study the Irken's petite body. He noticed that Zim's bruises had turned from bright pink to a dark blue. It didn't look healthy against the green skin.

"Zim? Are your bruises supposed to change color like that?" he asked. Zim looked at him as if his head was really huge.

"Off course", he said, already distracted with studying the showers once again. Oh. The teen stored the information for later. Zim settled for the shower opposite to Dib.

"This one! It is far better than the Dib's!" Zim exclaimed.

"... They're all the same", Dib said," anyway, just start it by pressing the button. You can change the temp on the knob. Clockwise for warmer and anticlockwise for colder."

Off course, Zim knew nothing about clocks, but he would never admit that to the Dib! Instead, the turned it as far as he could in one direction, then pressed the button.

Dib had turned around and was shampooing his hair when he jumped at Zim's loud screech. Just a second later, Zim had pushed him out of his shower.

"You lied! That Showurr was bad!" He exclaimed.

"What?" He looked at Zim's. It wasn't pouring water. It was producing steam. "You turned it to the hottest!" Dib walked over - careful to avoid the hot steam - and turned the knob to a lower temperature. "It's okay now, you can use it."

"Never!" Zim exclaimed. Dib could've just taken the shower himself, but no, he was far too stubborn for that. He frowned.

"Look, the temperature is okay now!" He huffed and put a hand in the rush of water,"It's not burning anymore!"

"You lie!"

"Then take another one, but that one's mine!" Dib exclaimed and pushed Zim out-of-the-way. The small form stumbled for a moment, before frowning dangerously and jumped forward, clinging to Dib's legs.

"What the-" Dib lost his balance and fell, his already sore butt hitting the concrete floor. "Ouch!" When he sat up, Zim had taken his shower and was standing there proudly. Dib pouted, then went for the same trick as Zim had. With one leg, he sweeped the Irken off his feet. Zim hissed loudly and painfully.

"That was for tackling me, jerk", Dib muttered and got up. His will to fight over the shower faded as he realized that he was clean though, and he let Zim get up and take the shower. instead, he wrapper himself in his towel and leaned on a wall to wait for his friend.

___Year 2024, February 20th, Tuesday, 10:12am, Planet Vort_

As Sev En wrote down his weekly report, he added in the end:

_While we've encountered a few obstacles, we are positive that this project is bound to succeed. However if you get an idea you think we'd be interested in, let us know._

He then added his mail (Sev-thesupercoolscientist-En and posted the report. No Human could possibly be of any help, but maybe some other Vortian read it and contacted them.

___Year 2024, February 20th, Tuesday, 10:23am, Planet Irk_

Newly showered, and with bandages around his upper arms, Dib proceeded to write down everything he remembered about the fight. He estimated the height of the attackers, as well as their appearances and outfits. The clothes they wore had been very similar to Zim's, he realized when he got time to think about it. Though while one big leaf covered Zims entire body, this was not the case with these taller Irkens. They wore the same leaf like a skirt, going down just above their knees. Covering their torsos was another leaf, like Zim's, without arms like a poncho. He guessed they were about the same height, the only differences were their eyes. One has purple and the other one has red ones.

He opened a new tab on his hologram screen were he sketched up one of the males. Drawing wasn't his strength, thus it ended up as nothing more than a stick figure with clothes. He saved it anyway, together with his notes.

He stretched and looked at the clock. It was still only mid day. He regretted telling everyone to stay inside; now he was restrained by his own orders. He'd rather take a camera and sneak out to find the Irkens. Getting into trouble with Bitters was highly unwanted, though. Didn't want to get house arrest again.

"Might as well just hang out with the others. There's nothing else to do, anyway", he said.

"Quiet!" The Irken - now dressed in a borrowed t-shirt way too big for him - snapped distractedly. Dib shot him an amused look. He'd found a way to keep Zim quiet after a few failed attempts. Zim's pink bug-like eyes were glued to another holographic screen, this one showing an old cartoon. It would keep him distracted forever, but maybe until they went to sleep at least.

TBC

**This is not ZaDr I swear**

**/Saga**


	9. Chapter 8

**OMG I didn't really think people thought this was zadr XD Well, it's not. If you've read this far only for the ship, then I'm sorry. No, not really. I'm laughing my ass off.**

**I wrote this more than a week ago, but I've been without internet so I couldn't post it, sorry for the wait fellow Humans!**

**Guest: Good! That's exactly what I want you to feel! I have succeeded! And yes, Dib must be horrified XD **

**Fancykitty1123: Hehehe, it was very tempting to have them to so XD but it would be weird lol XDDDD**

**Chapter 8:**

_2024, March 30, Saturday, 04:45pm, planet Irk_

After two months on Irk, the crew had gotten used to the daily routine. Zim got allowed into the Piggie at any time, Gaz and Torque started scouting some more area, Dib took notes of everything, and learnt from Zim just as much as Zim learnt from him. Sometimes, other Irkens came around, but none of them really stayed for long. Dib managed to get some photos of them, and a few bruises from them. Lucky thing Zim usually stayed close. Keef's birthday came and went without anything special happening, except for some surprised faced when they realized he was the oldest (except for Bitters and possibly Zim).

It was Easter time. A time where they all knew people at Earth were trying to make a small celebration with their friends. The crew didn't have the time to slack off, but, with a friendly flick from destiny, one of their traps finally captured a bird, which they thankfully accepted as Easter food. Dib watched happily when the letter M opened up the bird. The took notes on a tiny computer about how it's insides looked.

Zim sat on the kitchen island where the letter M worked (even though he wasn't allowed to) and devoured leftovers no Human wanted. The Irken failed to understand why anyone would throw away the feathers and bones instead of eating them! But Humans were weird when it came to food; they were extremely picky. They didn't even eat their meat raw!

"Zim, aren't there any seasons on this planet?" Dib asked as the letter M put the bird thingy in the oven.

"Off course. You put seasoning in all your food",Zim said and nodded with a smile. Dib sent him a look.

"Not seasoning. Seasons. Like winter and summer. It hasn't even rained ever since we got here!" he said.

"Zim knows of nothing like that", Zim said with a flick of his wrist. That got Dib thinking about how Zim would react to Earthen weather. He didn't notice Zim leaving.

"Zita! Why is this _east-urrr _so important?" Zim asked as he marched into Zita's office without knocking. Zita jumped slightly, startled by Zim's loud voice.

"Easter? It's just a thing we celebrate", she shrugged," isn't Dib supposed to explain this stuff to you?"

"The Dib is busy talking to himself", Zim said. Zita sighed.

"I actually don't know why we celebrate easter. It might be something from when Humans were religious. Something Christian or Jewish," she mused. Zim understood nothing.

"You speak of stupid", he concluded. The nurse frowned at him but decided to ignore his rudeness. "Zim will go outside and forget he ever asked you!"

_2024, March 30, Saturday, 06:02pm, planet Irk, outside the Piggie_

The Easter dinner was quick and not very celebrative, but still a nice change from the ordinary routine. The bird was the topping on the cake.

Dib had tried teaching Zim how to use a knife and fork, but in vain. The Irken usually didn't want their cooked food anyway. He managed on fruit and a big bug every now and then. Dib made a theory that Zim needed more sugar and less protein than a Human body. Maybe that was why he didn't kill Dib the first time they met. It was too much meat for one tiny Irken. The alien also barely reached to their table when he sat at a chair, so he usually sat on the table, despite everybody's attempts at making him sit correctly.

"Easter is a foolish thing to celebrate", Sergeant Mayor Bitters sneered," when I was in your age during world war 1, our skool taught us that this man, Jesus, died to save humanity. Now we know that no matter what we do, in the end humanity is doomed anyway."

"You were nineteen during world war 1?! B-but that's one hundred and ten years ago!" Dib choked on his food.

"That's correct, Dib. Your math teacher would be proud of you", Bitters said. Zita snickered. Dib's ears blushed a deep red.

"But that would make you ... 121 years old! That's insane!"

"You're insane", Zita said between fake coughs.

"Gee, thanks for the support, Zita!" Dib sighed," don't you think it's weird, though? Why would the government let a 121 year old woman into space?"

"Dib, it's not up to you to question the government's decision, your job is to blindly follow orders!" Bitters snapped.

"The world is harsh, Dib", Zita said.

"Well said, Zita", Bitters commented. The girl smiled teasingly at Dib. He frowned at her and looked away. At his left, Keef was blowing kisses towards Zim, who tried to figure out what that meant. The Irken looked like he might stick his fork into Keef's brain.

"Keef", Dib started carefully," if you want to live, you should stop."

"No need being overprotective, Dib. I'm just flirting, 's all", Keef smiled. That was just freaky.

"Uh ... let's just say I warned you ..."

_2024, March 31, 05:12pm, planet Vort, the royal laboratory_

"Oh my Gkivbas!" Sev En gasped. He scrolled through the pages of this particular Human," this man was a genius! How come we didn't think of this?"

"His name was professor Membrane", Lard Nar said," he was one of Earth's most succesful men. The records say he saved mankind more than eleven times!"

"I know what the records say! I'm reading them too!" Sev En reminded.

"Here it says that one of his experiments was to create a super robot, just like we are!"

"I know! I'm reading this too!" Sev En snapped.

"Apparently his plan was to make a cyborg out of an animal that would be extremely powerful and loyal!" Lard Nar continued. Sev En put down his reading device and listened to his companion instead.

"The project cancelled when he sadly passed away, though. One of the test subjects got a short-circuit and attacked him and three other scientists. After that the experiment was deemed too dangerous."

"Interesting. We should ask for permission to continue his studies", Sev En mused," let's send a message to Her Highness immediately!"

TBC

**It's one of the shorter chapters, I know. But there was nothing else to put in here.**

**Next chapter is already written! I just need to control-read it.**


	10. Chapter 9

**Long chapter woooooooo! Also, I've got next week off! Hopefully I'll write a lot during these coming days!**

**This was really fun to write!**

**Chapter 9:**

_2024, March 32nd, 09:00am, planet Vort, the Royal castle, the Queen's eating chambers_

"I'm very tempted to do this", The Vortian Queen said," but I contacted Earth, and professor Membrane had two children who should get a chance to take part, if the project was to be restarted."

"Then we'll contact him immediately! I don't mind working with another specie and you know that", Sev En said. He was getting excited!

"That's the problem. They're both on Irk", she said gently. Sev En stood perfectly still for about half a second, then he threw his hands in the air.

"Then they're dead! There's no way they're still alive", he exclaimed. The Queen shook her head.

"No. Last time Earth's government heard from them two weeks ago, everyone in the crew was still alive", she said, curious about her friend's reaction. Sev En's small eyes grew bigger than possible and his jaw dropped.

"But they've been there for what? Two months? That's impossible, our own men barely manage two weeks!" he said. The Queen shrugged.

"I don't know how they did it, but they're alive and they need a chance to continue their father's work." Sev En nodded.

"I understand. I'll send a message to them", he said. The Queen nodded. With a bow, the scientist left her chambers.

Storming into the lab, the Vortian barked at Lard Nar," call the Piggie, I need to speak with Membrane's kids."

"The Piggie?! Isn't that the ship that the Humans sent to Irk?" Lard Nar asked," the crew is dead by now!"

"No, they're all alive, now call them!" Sev En said and looked into the screen. Lard Nar stared for a minute, but caught himself and contacted the ship. It took about a minute for someone to answer.

"What is it?" a hoarse voice croaked as an old Human female showed up. Her aura shone of someone who was used to being in charge and Sev En shrunk. He quickly regained his posture, though. He cleared his throat and answered:

"This is Sev En. I'm responsible for the Vortian Defensive Project. I wish to speak to the offspring of professor Membrane."

"I don't care about who you are! Dib is out, But I'll get Gaz for you", she said in an unfriendly tone. Sev En tried to hide his shudder, but Lard Nar noticed. The female disappeared from the screen. Shortly after, another dangerous looking female appeared, this one much younger.

"What?", she snapped. She looked dangerous, with eyes squinted into a frown and messy, purple hair. The Vortians wondered how she could see anything.

"Are you professor Membrane's daughter?" he asked politely. The girl, Gaz, opened one eyes slightly, showing a bright brown pool filled with anger.

"Yes", she growled," and I'm not interested."

"But I haven't said what this is about yet."

"I'm not continuing his old projects. Ask Dib", she said.

"O-oh. Can I talk to this Dib?" The Vortian asked.

"Call back later", Gaz said and cut the transmission by slamming a button with a closed fist.

The two co-workers sat in silence for a while.

"None of those were Human, were they?" Lard Nar whispered.

"No", Sev En breathed," they were _demons!" _

_March 32nd, Monday, 09:54am, planet Irk, in a tree_

It was inevitable, Dib guessed when Zim finally made him climb a tree. Zim jumped gracefully from branch to branch, like this was this second elemtent. How it went for Dib was another story. He tensed every muscle to keep from falling down and crawled forward slowly.

"You're horrible", Zim commented from the branch in front of him.

"This is madness! If I fall from here I die!" He gasped.

"You only fall if you let go", Zim said," It does not look like you'll let go." The Irken walked easily over his branch to Dib's.  
"Sit up. Stop acting like a new-born smeet!"

"Easy for you to say! You're barely half my body weight", Dib said hysterically. Zim's antennae wrinkled at the base, which Dib had learnt meant he was annoyed.

"Sit up!" he demanded. Dib didn't trust him, but admitted he'd never get anywhere like this. So, he relaxed and tried not to look down at the faraway ground.

Given the time, Dib would've gotten into a sitting position himself, but Zim wasn't known for having patience.

"Hurry, Dib-stink!", he said and bent down. He might have the body of a ten years old, but he was far stronger than that. He grabbed Dib by the armpits and lifted him into a sitting position.

"OhmygodI'msodeadstopitZimI'llfalltomydoom", Dib rambled, but realized the Irken hadn't dropped him to a certain death.

"Now stand up and walk to Zim", Zim said as he backed to the other tree. There he sat, leaning against the trunk.

"... No. I'd rather do it my way", Dib said and lifted his body with his arms and moved half a meter. Then he moved his arms forward and repeated the process.

"You look stupid, Dib-stink", Zim huffed at sat down on the branch.

"Shut up, you oversized bug", Dib muttered and slowly got to where Zim was sitting. Out of breath, the teen leaned on the tree and ran a hand through his messy hair.

"You're pathetic", Zim commented," even a smeet would do better than you."

"Shut up", Dib hissed. For once, Zim actually shut up and they sat in silence for a while. After some time, Dib started hearing sounds. Rainforest sounds. Other inhabitants dared come closer to them, until they were all in hearing distance. Bugs buzzed and birds screeched. Irken birds never sang beautiful melodies like those on Earth, But Dib didn't mind.  
"Wow", Dib said finally," All these sounds. I didn't hear them before. The jungle always seemed so quiet, opposite to Earth."

"You never were high enough to hear the birds before. Everything is quiet at the ground," Zim commented.

"I see", Dib said. for some time, he was silent again. "It's weird how there aren't the sounds of water flowing though. I guess that's because it never rains. The water is always still."

"Dib!"

"Gretchen?" Dib looked down. Far down there, Gretchen looked around, calling for him," I'm up here!" For some time, she looked around frantically, but then turned upwards.

"Dib!? What the heck are you doing? You'll get yourself killed!" she exclaimed.

"I'm just taking a look. What do you want?"

"You got a call. Bitters told me to get you", she said, pretty loudly to be heard properly.

"What's a call?" Zim asked with one eye narrowed, an expression Dib had gotten used to by now. The teen ignored the question.

"For me? I'll be there in a minute!" he said instead and sat up straight.

"Fine, I'll tell her", Gretchen said," be careful!" she disappeared from Dib's view.

"What is a call? Tell me, tell _Ziiiiim!" _Zim said, now standing in a demanding pose.

"Someone wanted to talk to me through a transmission", Dib explained. He'd learned that if Zim didn't understand the explanation he would drop the subject. That's what happened this time as well. Zim stood silent for about three seconds, which was enough for Dib to realize something else.  
"How do I get down?"

"The same way you got up, stupid Dib-creature", Zim said and easily jumped to a lower branch," it's not like someone will come and help you."

"Wait! You've gotta help me", Dib said. Zim stopped, already several metres down.

"Hurry!" The alien shouted from below.

"Wait!" Dib repeated and carefully lowered his body downwards. The kicked around until his feet touched a branch.

An hour later, Dib finally touched the ground. It had been an hour of Zim shouting insults and laughing over his clumsiness. He would've fallen into the mud in exhaustion, if his clothes hadn't been cleaned recently.

"I don't think they're still waiting for me to answer", he sighed and headed towards the Piggy. Zim had disappeared as soon as Dib hit the ground. Useless bug.

"What took you so long?", Bitters asked when he arrived.

"I couldn't get down from the tree, Ma'am", Dib muttered.

"That's a ridiculous excuse! If this was Skool, I'd punish you for your incompetence!" She barked.

"Yes, Ma'am", he sighed.

"You got a call from Vort. Go call them back", Bitters made a dismissive hand gesture.

"Yes, Ma'am", Dib said and hurried away. Vort, huh? He didn't know any Vortians, what could they want? In his lab, he told the Computer to call the ones who called him and show them on his screen.

The two Vortians were hiding behind a floating office chair when he called. They looked scared.

"Uh ... hello? You wanted to talk to me", Dib said carefully. He hadn't prepared a speech and didn't know what they wanted. One Vortian, the one with green goggles, peeked out from the cover.

"You're not as dangerous as your sister or the old lady", he stated wryly.

"Gaz and Bitters? No, they're both demons", Dib said nervously. Now the other one stepped forward and coughed to get his attention.

"Very well. Dib Membrane, am I right?" He said. Dib nodded.

"Yup, that's me", he said. The Vortian smiled.

"I'm pleasantly surprised to see that you've survived so far on Irk", he said," My name is scientist Sev En and I'm the leader of the Vortian Defensive Project, VDP. This here is Lard Nar and we wanted to talk with you about one of your father's projects." Dib nodded silently, but inwardly got really excited. He was very interested in his dad's work and had always wanted to be like him.  
"Do you know of the VDP from before?"

"No, we don't have much time to keep up with what's happening outside of Irk", Dib said.

"I understand. We're trying to create a new war machine - a robot that can take care of itself, but still be loyal towards our empire", Sev En explained. Dib nodded.

"Oh yeah, dad tried to make something like that once."

"Exactly. He tried to make a cyborg, right?" Sev En asked. He knew that was correct, but asked to sound polite.

"Yeah. He used dogs, since they're known for their loyalty", Dib said. The teen's posture dropped slightly at the memory," but one dog-cyborg tore him to threads." Sev En nodded sympathetically.

"I'm sorry for the loss", Sev En said.

"It's okay. Thanks. It was a while ago", Dib took a deep breath.

"Now, we're really interested in continuing his studies and wanted to give you a chance to help us", Sev En finished. Dib frowned and thought about it for a long time. He's always wanted to continue what his Dad had started, but was now really a good time?

"I don't know. Would I have to leave Irk?" He asked. He didn't want to do that. He liked it here. Sev En looked surprised.

"Off course. You'd get your own lab here on Vort. In the Royal castle, even!" he said, shining happily. He looked like he took for granted the the teen wanted to leave. Dib bit his lip.

"I don't think I can leave right now. My work here is important", he said. His work as in studying a crazy alien and getting thrown into wild adventures. Sev En looked even more surprised and Lard Nar seemed irritated.

"Hey, kiddo", Lard Nar said," whatever you're doing there, it's not more important than your duty to the Vortian empire! You might know that you're part if it, too!" Dib raised his hands defensively. Sev En put a hand on Lard Nar's shoulder and shook his head like a mother would do to a child.

"I know, I know! But I was supposed to work here for six months, and it's only been two", he explained. Lard Nar was going to say something, but Sev En was faster.

"I'm sure you could leave earlier if you wanted, and I'm sure you want to! By now, you must have encountered the dangers of Irk", he said.

"Irkens? Well, yeah, but-"

"Then you'd want to leave the place before you get killed!" Lard Nar said. Dib thought about Zim. He didn't doubt that the small being could kill him without effort, but he didn't think he would.

"I've managed so far", the teen shrugged. With some hesitation, he added," I befriended one that's saved me multiple times." Two pairs of small Vortian eyes grew out of their sockets. At least, that's what Dib thought. Lard Nar wore goggles, so he couldn't tell, but judging by his posture, Dib drew that conclusion.

"You ... you actually _befriended _one? An Irken? One of those killing machines?!" Sev En asked dubiously.

"Yeah! I stumbled into his nest and it turned out we'd landed in his territory", Dib said. Both Vortians looked even more surprised now, if possible.

"You what!? And you still alive!" Sev En exclaimed," you're either very lucky or very foolish."

"Heh. I guess so", Dib said awkwardly.

"Either way, I now respect your choise to stay, if that's what you want. We could ask for permission to put the project on hold for now", The Vortian continued. Dib felt a rush of joy.

"You could? Cool!" He said with a large grin.

"I'll hear from you later then. Scientist Sev En, signing off!" the screen went blank. As this sunk in, he came to a realization. He'd never thought past these six months. He took it for granted that whatever happened after this mission, his life would be better than it was before. Maybe he'd get noticed for helping saving Humanity.

But he never told Zim they'd leave.

TBC

**Hahahahaha soooooo fun to write!**

**Anyway, who of you will celebrate Halloween? As a Swede, I don't, but I'll throw a small celebration with my friends anyway. What'll you dress up as?**

**/Sagapaga**


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